Two Poems - David Tait

Achtung! Saparrot!


Police are still searching
for the dissidents suspected

of planting a giant pineapple
in Government Square.

This happened around seven
on the thirteenth of November.

All CCTV in the immediate area
was severed for ten minutes

after which the pineapple, measuring
one metre tall and fifty centimetres wide

is recorded to have appeared.
In order to help the authorities

With their investigation anyone
who remembers anything suspicious

or has relevant information
must come forward at once.


The Ambassador

No-one is sure why the ambassador
chose that morning to leave

his pent-house apartment and instead
of going to work to head

to the famous harbour, where he proceeded
to take off all of his clothing

and tread straight into the water.
The ambassador is a true patriot

and all who saw him acknowledged what rapture
came over his face at knowing

he could be free in this country
to walk to a harbour

and become one with the water,
the sand, the sea and keep going.
---

David Tait's poems have been published or are forthcoming in The Rialto, The North, Stand, The Guardian, Popshot, Pomegranate and Like Starlings. He is Poetry Editor for the Cadaverine and House Poet for the Carol Ann Duffy and Friends Poetry Series at Manchester Royal Exchange.